Overcoming Perfectionism
4 thought on “Overcoming Perfectionism”
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Finding time to write in a busy schedule is a common complaint. In today’s Storylines, we look at how to make writing time in your life a priority.
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We all have rituals in our life. Every morning, I wake and make myself a cappuccino, not those want-to-be cappuccino in those plastic k-cups. I make real Italian coffee in an espresso pot, served in my white cappuccino cup, extra foam and topped with cinnamon. The house is usually still dark; I turn on the light next to my chair. I pull a soft, knitted cream blanket across my lap, with coffee beside me and laptop in hand, I begin to write. It’s a simple routine and may not seem important to the outside observer, but to me it is the ritual that launches me into my writing time.
My writing time is distraction-free. There is no music playing, the TV is off and I have not opened my email or social media. Depending on my schedule, I may write for 30 minutes, I may write all morning. The practice of pouring that coffee, wrapping myself in a blanket and sitting in my favourite chair is my ritual. It’s very purpose is to place me in a mindset to write, to be creative.
Why do we want or need to create rituals? Rituals help us to habitulize events in our day, they give us one less thing to think about, one less task to plan. When we begin any new routine and wish to establish it as a new habit, we usually fight it, we question it. There is usually an element of fear present. We are walking into the unknown and the unknown is fearful. If you’re just beginning to write your family history stories than you are probably experiencing some of that fear. You’re questioning whether you have the time or talent to complete this project. You fear you lack the skills and you fear what others may say about your skills. It is unknown territory for you and therefore your fear is justified.
By creating a ritual, an environment that welcomes your new habit, and says ok, I’m here and ready to write, it opens the door to being creative, it eliminates the need to ask the question, why am I doing this? I already know, I perform these rituals to prepare myself to write. The ritual allows you to welcome the habit and to stop questioning its existence. The ritual won’t eliminate your fear, but it will help you to create a pattern, and help to keep the fear from disrupting your intent.
We all have rituals in our day. Morning routines, exercise routines, work schedules and bedtime habits are common practice in most people’s lives. Most of these routines develop quite sub-consciously. Think of the customs you created for your children when they were young to prepare them for bed, or nap time, or dinnertime. Rituals are ceremonial acts to prepare you for an event. In order to set up writing as an event in your life, consider creating a few ceremonial practices as your signal to begin.
Be aware of distractions. By allowing distractions in, you are sabotaging your efforts and your fear just maybe the cause. Stand your ground, don’t let fear sideline you with interruptions and excuses.
Each writer must find the environmental conditions that allow them to be creative. My morning routine is personal to me and me alone. You must find what works for you, what will prepare you and your mind. Rituals offer the signal; this is what I’m doing for the next 30 minutes, 60 minutes or 500 words. This very rite aids you in creating an environment that is habit-forming.
How do you make writing habit-forming?
- Remove distractions, it clears time and mental space so you can focus on the task at hand.
- Identify the writing environment that allows you to be creative. It might take a couple of adjustments to find what works for you, but be aware of your surroundings and how they affect your writing process.
- Develop rituals that prepare the environment for writing and signal your mind it’s time to begin.
- Write every day.
SO TRUE Lynn!! I have that myself as I write scenes of some of my ancestors. I look it over..tweek a bit but I keep feeling it is never good enough just yet to show the family. Several times at family gatherings I have read out a piece that I had worked on and everyone said they liked it. However, afterwards I wondered if I had made it “perfect” enough…could I have worked more on it before I put it out to them or If I did would it have even more impact. Anyway, thanks Lynn…your comment that there are no perfect writers and no perfect stories made me feel so much better. Upward and onward and thank you very, very much for Storylines.
Lynn, thank you for saving your video lessons on your home page. I have inadvertently deleted some of your tips which caused me no end of grief. I’ve just discovered them on your home page and would like to suggest you advise your viewer they are located there.
Also I’d like to know if your Inner Circle will be continuing once you have announced your Masterclass lessons. I was waiting until September 2019 to join the class. Summer is a busy time and I thought others in the class may not be available to critique during the summer.
Recently I shared a creative non fiction scene with my writing group. My group said it was fiction. I had researched my scene from original records as well as reading other peoples journals pertaining to the time frame and knew my information was accurate. Needless to say I was devastated. I’m not sure if I will continue sharing my writing with this group thus my query about the Inner Circle.
Thank you for your weekly inspirational videos, I for one look forward to reading them even if I accidently delete them.
Lynn- Thank you for this important boost. Your ideas today are bringing me closer to finishing a piece that I have found difficult to finish because I want it to be perfect. Thank you for that. I will probably listen to this talk again because of its effectiveness for me. At the same time I wonder about one of the elements within your talk. I wonder if you would expand upon the place that a writing community can play in helping to let go of perfectionism. We have something going on in ours that seems to do the opposite. It seems to stifle writing by encouraging perfectionism as you have described it. My writing group has been meeting for many years. It has in it a couple of people who go to workshops where they meet together for just a few times, are encouraged to give negative criticism, and then they part. They do not develop lasting relationships with each other in these groups. In them, the emphasis is on quick writing, and swift critique. These workshops tend to bring out meanness in them which they then bring to our group. These two people seem to have lost interest in listening for the meaning of a piece that is read by their long-time friends in our group, and often miss the point entirely. Meaning seems to me to be the most important thing, and for me, all critique needs to come from an understanding of meaning. That means that the critic within a group like ours must ask the writer clarifying questions to help the writer to get closer to their meaning, not to blast the writer with negative statements based on how they are taught to behave in the workshops they have attended. It seems to me that this blasting method is more about the critique than it is about getting at the writers intent and meaning. This behavior ignores the fact that a writer does want to express something important, and just needs a few nudges in the right direction. I would like to hear from you more about the elements of an effective writing group. Your talks always feel encouraging. You mention a writing community in this talk, so it seems that you know something about developing the best in a writer through writing community. If it is within the scope of your mission, I would like to hear what you know, and how you view the whole genre of writers’ workshops and their relationship to long-standing writing/friendship communities. Thank you!
Thank you….
I’m just getting my story or stories started and looking for a lot of help!